October 14, 2011

You know what really grinds my gears?

I've mentioned before that people seem to think having a baby makes you some sort of expert on babies. I've now come to the realization that this is because lots of folks feel that having a baby makes them some sort of expert on babies.

We don't do this with other stuff. I drive a car, therefore I am an expert on ALL THE CARS. I have a job, therefore, I could do your job with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back. Your job requires the use of at least one hand? Poppycock.

But babies?

I cannot count the times other, mostly new, parents have said things that specifically relate to their baby as if it was a given that all babies would behave the exact same way.
I know your baby drooled through five bibs a day, but mine doesn't. Yet.
I know the only thing that saved your sanity was the swing, but we've been fine without one.
I know you had to move every single item you didn't want ruined up out of your toddler's reach, but I don't think babies are automatically bad for books. We'll see when we get there.

Not only do these people offer their opinions and experience as gospel, but they expect my baby to be just like their baby. I know she doesn't seem hungry or fussy to you, but I know my baby and she's hungry and also seriously pissed right now. Hand her back.

We knew going into this that all babies are different (imagine that) and we've figured out what works for us, right now. Next week, I'm sure that will change. And if you ask me, I'll tell you what we're doing and what works for us.
I'm also aware that you and your baby are not us. So knock it off. Otherwise, I will quit pretending your child is cute.

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