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December 5, 2011

Nothing like a tiny finger jammed up your nose at 4 am

Back when I said we didn't cosleep? Spoke too soon, apparently.

I don't have a problem with the concept, I just didn't think it would be for us.

When the babe stopped sleeping through the night, she wouldn't go back down alone. In the interest of us all getting sleep, she stayed in bed.
Then she started fighting sleep and it took a dark room and cuddling to get her down.

I figured it was just a phase. Too much fun to be had to take naps. I asked the pediatrician at her check up when I should start being concerned, but I think she misunderstood my question. She uttered the words "sleep training" and I pretty much tuned out the rest of what she said.
I don't care for cry it out methods, period. I think if she's crying, it's because she needs something, even if that something is just to be held. Since I don't have another job at this point, that's what I do.
Also, if a baby previously slept through the night just fine and has always been a good self-soother, what exactly am I trying to teach her?

It occured to me this week that I never asked my husband how he felt about the arrangement. We didn't intend to cosleep, though we were both smart enough to not rule anything out. It just kind of happened. Luckily, he doesn't mind right now either. But we'd both like the bed back sooner rather than later.

For someone who doesn't have strong feelings about it one way or the other, I'm amazed at how vehemently I've been defending our sleeping arrangement, even when gently prodded. Granted, the one doing most of the prodding is my mother. She thinks if the baby is sleeping on her own, she'll get overnight visits. And history leaves me much more likely to react to an "innocent" remark from my mom than from a friend or random stranger.

Like all of the other choices we've made or fallen into, we're doing what works for us as a family. And that's what counts. Last night, when the babe was almost asleep, she opened her eyes, rolled back over and reached out with both arms to touch my face. I wouldn't have had that moment if we were doing things differently. And I wouldn't trade it for an extra 20 minutes in the evening.

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